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87+ Best Savage Roasts for Defending Yourself and Destroy your Opponents

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Best Savage Roasts to destroy your opponents

Roasts are a playful and sometimes sharp way of teasing or joking with someone by making fun of them in a friendly or competitive manner. Imagine teasing your friends or family members with a clever joke about something silly or funny they’ve done. Roasts are like that, but they can be a bit more pointed, often highlighting someone’s quirks or mistakes in a humorous way.

The idea is to be witty and a bit sassy, but still keep things friendly. Roasts can range from light-hearted teases to more pointed jabs, but the goal is always to share a laugh, not to upset anyone. However, it’s important to use roasts carefully because what’s funny to one person might hurt another’s feelings. They’re a popular form of entertainment, especially at events called “roast dinners” where a guest of honor gets gently ribbed by friends and colleagues, all in the spirit of fun.

Good Roasts

  • You have a face that would make onions cry.
  • I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
  • If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
  • You’re so annoying, you could make a Happy Meal cry.
  • Everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing the privilege.
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on Earth.
  • You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck thinking.
  • If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
  • You’re so annoying, you could make a Happy Meal cry.
  • You are the reason why there are instructions on shampoo bottles.
  • If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  • I’d give you a nasty look, but you already got one.
  • You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day.
  • You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles.
  • You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
  • You’re the human version of period cramps.”
  • You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
  • I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people.
  • You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave me too?
  • Every time I think you can’t get any dumber, you are proving me wrong.
  • I was today years old when I realized I didn’t like you.
  • I told my therapist about you. She didn’t believe me.
  • It’s kind of sad what happened to your face… Oh wait, that’s how it has always looked?

Credits.Pexels

Brutally Honest Roasts

  • I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if you were a scarecrow, birds would avoid you.
  • You’re the reason gene pools need lifeguards.
  • I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people.
  • You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
  • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
  • If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  • Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.
  • You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
  • The only way you’d get hurt exercising is if you sprained your ego.
  • You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  • I would smack you, but that would be animal abuse.
  • Everyone brings happiness to a room. I bring happiness when I walk in, and you bring happiness when you leave.
  • It is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
  • The only way you’d get hurt from exercising would be if you sprained your finger changing the channel.
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
  • I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
  • I’m not an astronomer, but I am pretty sure the world revolves around the sun, not you.
  • If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

Witty and Clever Roasts

  • You’re not simply a drama queen/king. You’re the whole royal family.
  • Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  • I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.
  • You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles.
  • If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
  • I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
  • Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
  • I’m not an astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the world revolves around the sun, not you.
  • Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
  • I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have the time or the crayons.
  • I’m not saying you’re stupid, but a glowstick has a brighter future than you.
  • Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only did that behind my back.
  • I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
  • Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
  • I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
  • Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.
  • You’re not simply a drama queen. You’re the whole royal family.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.
  • I’d explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home.

Savage Roasts for Defending Yourself

  • I don’t hate you, but if you were drowning, I’d give you a high-five.
  • You are like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches you, but no one wants you.
  • I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than what you just said.
  • You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope they don’t die.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
  • I’m jealous of people that don’t know you.
  • You’re not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
  • I’d love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as nature did.
  • I’d tell you to go outside and play hide and seek, but good luck hiding a personality that big.
Roasts

Credits.Pexels

Roasts That Rhyme

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you.
  • Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don’t want to be mean, but you need Listerine.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you?
  • I’m not trying to make fun of you, but you can’t even count higher than number two.
  • Everybody knows that you’re stupid, and thought you could fall in love because you saw a fake Cupid.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly until I met you.
  • Don’t feel bad, don’t feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.
  • If I were a dog and you were a flower, I’d lift my leg up and give you a shower.

Comebacks for Quick Wits

  • I’m not an astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun, not you.
  • You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
  • The only thing offending me right now is your face.
  • Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. You owe it an apology.
  • You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die.
  • You are like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.
  • If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
  • I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
  • Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
  • I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your face every day.

Please note that a good roast’s essence lies in its delivery and the mutual understanding between the people involved that it’s all in good fun.

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